Rock Sugar

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For those who want something insanely different and exciting for their event, there’s always Rock Sugar!

BIO

80’S METAL BAND “ROCK SUGAR” RESCUED AFTER 20 YEARS ON DESERTED ISLAND. BRAINWASHED AND CONFUSED, ROCKERS RETURN TO HOLLYWOOD WITH A SHOCKING NEW MUSICAL STYLE.

1989 should have been the best year ever for Rock Sugar, the big haired heavy metal band that had just broken the top 41 on the rock radio charts with their solid brass debut album “Bang You Like A Drum”. But instead of headlining concerts, Rock Sugar made the headlines when they were presumed lost forever after playing an extremely ill advised gig celebrating the bat mitzvah of 13-year-old Lisa Rosenberg.

The show was performed miles out to sea aboard the private luxury yacht of Lisa’s father, schnapps millionaire Schlomo Rosenberg. Assuming that Rock Sugar was some innocent boy band, Schlomo had no idea who they actually were or what they actually sounded like. He only knew from his extremely spoiled daughter that they were “really cute” and he figured that must mean she would love their music. She didn’t, and judging from the stunned expressions on their faces, neither did her prepubescent little friends.

Shortly after the chorus of Rock Sugar’s second song “Nail You Like A Hammer”, a drunken and violent brawl broke out involving the band, the rabbi, a clown, the captain, a guy in an Smurf costume, Schlomo and well over a hundred infuriated and now thoroughly sexually confused children. In the midst of the fight, as Jesse, the lead singer, was pummeling the Smurf and no one was steering the damned ship anymore, it struck an undersea stone wall. As the boat was sinking, the extremely unhappy and now yacht less Schlomo refused to let Rock Sugar climb aboard the life rafts to safety.

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